Where to go from here?

This is just a blog of questions. Questions stirring around in my exhausted brain.
It is hard going through life wanting answers and you just have to be patient that God will work it all out.

Isn't it weird how the BEST things that have EVER happened to you occur at the same time the WORST things in the world (that is probably an exaggeration) happen to you?

At first glance my life seems to be crumbling in front of my own eyes. Everything I've valued for so long is falling apart--but if I take a giant step back I can refocus and remind myself of everything I need to be thankful for.
Why do all of the bad things going on seem to get thrown in my face constantly..but the good things get pushed to the back burner making me forget about them? It is a constant struggle but I am pulling those positive things back out. Who, honestly, want to go through life so unhappy?

I was struggling with my faith so much before I found The Bridge Community church in town. I know some people who would look down on me for not staying at the church I was raised in--but what makes me even more confused is how they can't see or accept (or don't want to see or accept) how positive this new church has made my life. I feel like a new person. Instead of fighting with myself everyday I embrace the questions I can't answer. No, I don't know everything there is to know about the bible. But it is time i make decisions on my own. I can not go through life embracing the beliefs of other people. I can't say, Well so and so told me this is true so i did it. Really...

I'm sorry if I've completely confused or bored you all with this word vomit (yes, Mean Girls reference)!
My life is definitely at a crossroads. There are a lot of unanswered questions i am dealing with--so maybe this blog will be therapeutic for me! :)

Engagement Pics

I forgot to mention--this was his great grandmother's ring!! I know it was hard for his Mimi (grandma) to let go--but it means so much to me to have it! It is perfect!













Hopefully I'll have more pictures to come!
I am ready to be Mrs Cheatwood but have a while to go...
I know it is what is best for us to wait two years but it sure does stink having to wait!! :)

Will you marry me?

Best day of my entire 21 years came December 19, 2010!
Chris asked me to marry him :)
Finally!! (as my cousins would say) ;]
It was seriously perfect! He has always been very creative and romantic--in his own cute way! For weeks we had it planned that we would exchange christmas gifts that night since we were leaving to come back to E-town for break. He talked me into giving him his gift the week before so I was the only one left to "open" a gift.
Here's the story:
Allllll day I was anxious to get off work and go open my gift! I was soo curious!
Little did I know that a long string of planned lies lead to this wonderful moment!
(starting back at Thanksgiving when he asked my dad!)
I came over to his apartment smiling ear to ear! He instructed me that the gift was "too big" and that I needed to go into his room and wait while he set everything up. I went in there with our kitty Roxy and waited.
Soon after he came into the room and told me to close my eyes. I closed my eyes and he walked me into the living room and sat me in a chair in front of the TV.
He said that instead of getting me a card, he made me a video. It started off with just pictures of us. Then it went to pictures of different places we like to go (Los Nopales- the place we met; More than Video- the place we rented out first movie in BG; The stoop outside of Bemis- the place we sat and talked the first year we were together; etc..) Finally, at the very end there was a little poem. Basically it said that we have had a wonderful time together but nothing will compare to the day we finally get to walk down the aisle. Then it said " I know I told you I did not have money for a ring, but I lied...Will you marry me?"
I seriously went into shock! :)
I could not stop smiling! I turned to him and he had the ring out and offically asked me. I said "of course!!!" and gave him a huge hug!!
It was the best!!
The ring is the best!!!
I could not have asked for a better start to my Holiday break!

perfect time of year...

Chris and I put up our first (full size) Christmas tree :) I got a small 3 ft tree last year, but it does not compare to this year!! Thanks to my mom for giving us her old one, we were able to purchase some decorations and put it in his apartment. I just love it so much!

Here are a few pictures of the tree and apartment!














Roxy just loves laying under the tree and, every once in a while, playing with one of the ornaments! One day we know we'll come home to the tree completely horizontal on the ground! ;(

the 3ft tree has now been adopted by my dorm room! It fits nicely on top of my microwave! :) ornaments will come soon!

Thankful in November

I must say I have soo much to be thankful for!

Just to name a few:

My amazing family. As I get older I realize how much I need them in my life. If something goes wrong they are who I lean on. If something goes right they are who I call and express my excitement!

Chris-my blessing from God. He seriously came to my life at the perfect time. I was in kind of a bad place. I was so negative before him. I had a negative self image. Negative thoughts on life. Negative feelings about love and boys in general. He has shown me love--It is okay to be myself with him. Hold on to my beliefs/morals/etc. I love him with all of my heart.

My friends are such a blessing! I have had a lot of friends come and go but the few that have stuck around are really amazing. It is funny how they always know what say or do when you need them the most!

Wonderful coworkers. I can not express how much more enjoyable work is when you like the people you work with! They are all amazing people--both professionally and personally. This goes for my GAP peoples as well! I love and miss you all sooo much!

There are so many more things I am thankful for.

Humor--gets me through some of the hard times!

Sunny days at WKU- simply beautiful

lazy saturdays (few and far between) but they are so refreshing!

God's forgiveness and mercy. Where would we be without it?

Prayer and it's strong power in my life.

Matt Deaton's Lessons on Sunday morning. They always speak to my heart!

I could go on and on! I hope that my life keeps going as good as it has been! I am so hopeful for my future.

My niece Mackenzie <3 true love

Holy Moly School slow down!!!

So, senior year of college is NOTHING like senior year of high school! Yikes! I feel like all I ever do is work, work, work, homework, work, work, homework. repeat.
I hate complaining. I really do. I know it is annoying to hear--but geeze! I am in over my head with my 18 hours.
I know I want to be a teacher. I love it so much! I came to WKU because everyone praises their Education department. Well, without getting into too much detail I am starting to believe it is not that great. It really starts to discourage people from teaching. Some of the expectations are unrealistic. I understand why they do it; weed out people who really don't want to teach...but seriously. It is a little redonkulos (that is definitely from Shrek ;)
All I keep telling myself is it will be over soon. God never gives us more than we can handle!
I am thinking about getting that quote as a tattoo! somewhere I will see constantly.
It is funny, Church on Sunday was about giving Thanks to God in all situations. Even when we are down we have a lot to be thankful for. I definitely agree. We get bogged down with stuff that does not matter.
I know I have a lot of things to work on. Slowly but surely I am making wonderful changes in my life!

drawing a blank

...Have you ever had so much to say but when it comes down to putting the words on paper (or typing them out, in this case) nothing comes out? Like, all day long your mind races with ideas, funny quotes, interesting ideas, nerve hitting remarks, etc...
Anyway-that always seems to happen to me on here.

I was thinking about our church service this past Sunday. Recently my mom, dad, and I have been attending a new church. Sunday the junior minister got to speak for the first time. I was so nervous for him ( I have no idea why-maybe it is the size of Sunday morning service?) He really surprised me! I was proud! He did a really great job. He was engaging, funny, smooth, enlightening, but most of all he spoke words that seemed to completely fit into my life.
I love when I go to a service, hear the message, and it is something that I really needed.
He started off explaining about how 68% (made that up--don't remember the real number!) of Americans make new years resolutions...38% (made that one up too!) usually have something to do with losing weight...and how we all could spiritually lose weight. Pretty good opener! Then went on talking about how we need to set goals in order to know where we are, how to get to where we need to be, and stay on track. Now, he isn't getting an award for most original idea, but it was how he said it. How he presented all the information-he has a real voice...he is believable.
Basically, i really like him..and his lesson. I wish He could lead the service for all of the young adults.. more often.

I guess I am going to call it a night! Tomorrow I get to see my boyfriend! He is coming up from Bowling Green to visit!! :) We are going swimming at his Mimi's pool...maybe I'll post some pictures for you all to see! <3